if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize