and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize