do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
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Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
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Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.