Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99 (415): Recession joke. http://tfl.nu/0g53
  Replies (10) Good night (3157) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week. http://tfl.nu/9o0t
  Replies (5) Good night (3672) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever." http://tfl.nu/4fcm
  Replies (49) Good night (17815) Bad night (1793)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk

  (415): View more from California

  yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk (415): yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts http://tfl.nu/5sxt
  Replies (49) Good night (8412) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla http://tfl.nu/0yq4
  Replies (13) Good night (4457) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever. http://tfl.nu/i189
  Replies (61) Good night (1782) Bad night (11122)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  my head hurts. i need an adult

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): my head hurts. i need an adult (225): and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult http://tfl.nu/wl1h
  Replies (4) Good night (1967) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (+55): View more from

  Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+55): Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic. http://tfl.nu/vqq6
  Replies (7) Good night (1349) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer. http://tfl.nu/9z00
  Replies (4) Good night (1247) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air. http://tfl.nu/cigy
  Replies (8) Good night (1927) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse http://tfl.nu/rdry
  Replies (22) Good night (1098) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk. http://tfl.nu/cpk7
  Replies (9) Good night (777) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We don't watch enough power rangers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy
  Replies (7) Good night (724) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

  (1-516): View more from New York

  You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job http://tfl.nu/2673
  Replies (0) Good night (631) Bad night (206)

Randomize