My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
