Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (1219) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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  (913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg
  Replies (14) Good night (822) Bad night (2608)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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  (954): i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night http://tfl.nu/gokf
  Replies (33) Good night (3929) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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  (571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp
  Replies (48) Good night (5344) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test

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  (318): Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test http://tfl.nu/zno9
  Replies (20) Good night (5527) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

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  (858): last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian" http://tfl.nu/bnai
  Replies (42) Good night (6195) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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  (516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns
  Replies (27) Good night (1427) Bad night (5799)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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  (617): Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here. http://tfl.nu/6cd7
  Replies (4) Good night (3036) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.

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  (502): I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day. http://tfl.nu/53ab
  Replies (5) Good night (2260) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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  (267): I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions. http://tfl.nu/avse
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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  (205): Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah. http://tfl.nu/ja8i
  Replies (10) Good night (2706) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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  (775): If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you. http://tfl.nu/tyav
  Replies (4) Good night (1703) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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  (916): Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities. http://tfl.nu/3rzs
  Replies (4) Good night (1565) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.

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  (647): Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms. http://tfl.nu/bqwg
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.

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  (352): He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes. http://tfl.nu/iekj
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (192)

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