Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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  (740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5
  Replies (39) Good night (8344) Bad night (910)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin

  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language

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  (713): You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin (954): Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language http://tfl.nu/75up
  Replies (34) Good night (1176) Bad night (5129)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.

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  (630): i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/wsec
  Replies (14) Good night (2838) Bad night (809)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.

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  (314): You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you. http://tfl.nu/ejbb
  Replies (9) Good night (7964) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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  (905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c
  Replies (6) Good night (2071) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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  (931): I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers http://tfl.nu/gzzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2784) Bad night (1179)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm bringing the tv in with me.

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  (630): Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice. (309): I'm bringing the tv in with me. http://tfl.nu/mqt8
  Replies (17) Good night (2046) Bad night (1210)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers

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  (732): He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers http://tfl.nu/7nw7
  Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (1051)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"

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  (862): You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe" http://tfl.nu/u8zn
  Replies (3) Good night (1189) Bad night (733)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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  (+44): Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club http://tfl.nu/ri4h
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (385)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"

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  (303): All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over" http://tfl.nu/zffi
  Replies (3) Good night (1232) Bad night (437)
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  (+52): View more from Mexico

  I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.

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  (+52): I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mkm5
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job

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  (240): I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job http://tfl.nu/fm2s
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (294)
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  (619): View more from California

  I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.

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  (619): I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him. http://tfl.nu/tvqh
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.

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  (602): Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/3es2
  Replies (7) Good night (1005) Bad night (274)

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