So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?