I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
