How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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