even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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