I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
