my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You can't special order awesome
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Are we still banned from the library?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
