I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If that was your dad, he is hot
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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