he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm bleeding and have questions
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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