yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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