Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
