Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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