this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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