The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
