Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
