I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
