have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
