her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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