I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
