i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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