my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize