I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
