Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
