I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
