the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
