I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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