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uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
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