This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I AM VODKA MAN
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site