it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.