I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
