im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
