Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize