I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
