You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
