My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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