you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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