When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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