we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize