At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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