Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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