If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
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Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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