im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
