Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
