yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
