Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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