***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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