You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
