i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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