I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize