it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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