Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
