Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
