I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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