do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize