i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
